Lots of thoughts - part 2

A lot of people have asked me for a health update..... it is hard for me to share this because a year and a half later I am still dealing with some of them. I want to raise awareness that just because the chemo and radiation are over,  it doesn't mean the sickness is gone.

I have what they call neuropathy in my feet and toes. It is a constant stabbing pain that worsens if I am on my feet for more than 20 to 30 minutes. By the end of the day, it feels like someone is trying to rip my toenails out . I have tried different medications and so far none have been able to alleviate the pain. 

I am still getting cancer treatments called herceptin. They hook me up to an iv for an hour and administer the drug. It causes bone pain and nausea . I receive this every 3 weeks . I am glad to say that I am almost done with these!

About a month before we had to move , I was experiencing chest pain. We thought that it was all from stress . Unfortunately,  it was more. An echocardiogram revealed there was fluid on my heart. Most likely a result from the herceptin.

I am now on tamoxifen for 10 years. It has some nasty side effects, but it looks can save me from a recurrence of cancer. Since it was stage 3 and moved into my lymph nodes they want to make sure I am doing everything in my power to prevent it from coming back.We have also talked about shutting my ovaries down too. So that is definitely a possibility in the near future. 

I still have a tissue expander implant in my left breast. It is constantly hurting. I have had this since October, and I cannot wait to get rid of it. On July 13th I will have surgery to remove  and replace it with a normal implant. I am so excited to finally get rid of this pain. I will also be getting surgery on my right breast so that it will match the other one . I will not be able to lift my babies for 3 weeks.  I remember how hard that was. My husband will have to take off work for at least 1 week.

Most nights, I lie in bed for an hour unable to sleep because of the pain. But the most important thing is that I am here. I'm so thankful and beyond blessed to be here. To see my darling little girls every day.  To kiss my handsome husband good night.  That's the reason I keep pushing through. To hear the giggles and sweet little words coming from my daughters. One day, this will all be a bad memory.  I will be more focused on watching these precious girls grow up, and less focused on cancer.

I have learned a valuable lesson through all of this. Love conquers all. The unconditional love from my husband and children have helped me through the darkest of days.  My family and friends around me have given me the strength to face each day with a new found respect for life and every single moment. It is a blessing to be here. It is a privilege to have such great people around me. The good things out weigh the bad. After the rain comes the rainbow. And I am so very excited for the future. 

I continue to be thankful for everyone who has helped us. I love you and appreciate your continued presence in our family's journey. May God bless each and every one of you.