part 2 ....updates

Well, I made the decision to cut (almost) all of my hair off. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But is nothing in comparison to what lies ahead....My lovely hairdresser Rachel came to us (bless her heart) so that I would be more comfortable during this emotional process. She is seriously one of the most lovely people I know!

So here is the finished product:

It has been a week since my new cut, and the inevitable is happening. I am losing my hair. I am glad it is not long 10 inch strands covering my pillow, or in the shower.....It is very, very hard for me. I am scared to even brush or style it at this point, because I know that a bunch of strands will come out, even just running my fingers through it.

I have my second round of chemo tomorrow. In a way, it is symbolic to me being on "Good Friday". I think of how Jesus suffered, and know that he will be with me especially on this day. I am still scared to go. I know I have done it once before, but I still feel sick just thinking about it. The past few days have been rough because I know that things are getting harder. I still think that every tear that I cry, makes me a little stronger. By the time this whole ordeal is over, I will be pretty bad ass!

We had another pretty day, It was 70 Degrees out this past Saturday, then 76 degrees on Sunday!

Nikki got me my first edible arrangement, It was yummy and I loved the message attached!!!:

Sunday we went outside with Olivia and enjoyed the nice warm weather for a bit!

Family Time...and other news!

With Brian being off work more often, we have gotten to finally spend some family time together. It has been wonderful! We went to to the park, and also our dear friend took some photos of us at the Botanical Garden. I wanted some family pictures before the new baby came, and before my hair was gone too. I will share those pictures when we get them.

We have had a couple pretty days, and took Olivia to the park. One day in particular we snapped a few pictures and I wanted to share. Normally we would walk to the park and walk around for an hour or so, marveling at Olivia's reaction to dogs and birds etc.... This time was a bit different for me. Being 7+ months pregnant , I have been getting braxton hicks contractions. Throw in the chemotherapy on top, and I was pretty tired after ten minutes of walking. I told Brian to go ahead and walk around for a while , and I would hang out on the bench and enjoy the pretty view. My heart ached not being able to walk with him and Olivia. As I walked to the bench, tears in my eyes, I talked to God :  This hurts, I want to be with them walking. Please let me get better. I don't mind sitting on the bench this season, but Please Lord , Let me come back - healthy, new, and better than ever .  I stared at a small pond in the distance. The breeze hit the water and it sparkled and glistened as the sunlight hit it.  Beautiful.  I cried so hard, and it felt kind of good to release some of the feelings I had been holding inside. Hell, I am crying right now as I type this. I swear I see the smallest things that I never noticed before. To say I have an even better appreciation for the little things in life ,  is an understatement. Brian and Olivia came back and Brian wanted to snap a few pics of Olivia with me on the bench. I felt peaceful and loved watching her look at the birds and nature around us.