Shout out to a lovely lady! *this post contains some photos that are a bit racy, but no nudity*

So as we all know, I had a rough year. As a woman - I can say there are certain things that help identify beauty, in my eyes... and I am sure many other ladies out there can relate.

 Beauty, Femininity, Desirability, Acceptance, Confidence, Empowerment.

As vain as it can sound, us girls have certain physical features that help us feel beautiful, sexy, desirable. It is our fingerprint to being who we are. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I was told some of those very things would be taken  away. Some for a short time, some for a long time, and some, Permanently.

My hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. The very things that I took for granted. Gone. I couldn't enjoy the breeze in my hair....And doing makeup was certainly a harder and more challenging art than it used to be. But I learned . Did I miss my eyelashes and brows - abso-freaking-lutely.  My bald head was covered with a wig. Most people had no clue that inside I was crying, hurting, struggling with a sadness. Along with the makeup that I painted on each day, I had to paint a smile on my face as well.

The worst news (besides the cancer itself) was that I would lose my entire breast. Some people may not understand, but as I type this very sentence tears are rolling down my cheeks. It was a part of me , of my body. It is widely seen as a symbol of being a Woman, of feeling Sexy. And it was about to be gone.

So, I was talking to my extremely talented make-up artist turned friend Brittany. She was such a sweetheart, and she listened and I told her how I was thinking of capturing my breasts together for the last time (haha) in a photo shoot. I have always been kind of modest. So for the first time in my life - I had a "what the hell , why not" kind of attitude. Brittany said that she would put me in touch with her friend Sarah at Posh Portraits. I did not know this at the time , but just like Brittany, God was about to bring a beautiful and amazing woman into my life.

Sarah not only wanted to capture this very emotional moment for me, but she did not charge a thing....She knew first hand how devastating Cancer could be first-hand. Her Beautiful mother also battled cancer and is a beautiful survivor!

When I went to my session, I was terribly nervous. I had just had a baby less than 4 months prior. However, because of the horrible chemo - my body was pretty much back to pre pregnancy! I can honestly say, Sarah was still super sensitive and understanding of how nervous I felt. She was very professional, and so patient with me. It had been years since I was behind a camera - and I had never posed topless before either.

The beautiful Brittany showed up to paint my face - I felt so pretty....I swear every time this woman touches my face, amazing things happen!!!!

The most amazing thing about Sarah , is that even though I had never met her before she made me feel like I had known her. She was easy to talk to . Such an easygoing and lovely soul. She asked me if I had felt comfortable doing a few pictures WITHOUT my wig. I thought to myself  " Oh my God , NO...Absolutely not"  I responded with...."Eh, I'm not so sure" She talked to me while I got my makeup done and after speaking with her and Brittany I decided to do it. They were right. After everything I had went through, my hair was a milestone too. It was a once in a lifetime thing, and why not rock it?

So now that you have read my novel, with the permission of my understanding husband ( who received a book with ALL of the photos in it ) I am going to share some of the pictures. These Photos mean the world to me . It is hard to look down and realize my breast is gone. But this experience, it helped me . It gave me closure. It gave me confidence. It gave me back all of those things I thought that I was losing.  And now, I feel like a beautiful woman, even without my breast.

So, I know I have thanked Sarah at Posh Portraits for these photos. But I want to publicly thank her. I do not think that she realizes how hard this was for me . I also do not think she realizes how truly therapeutic and magical this was. It was a memory that I now have documented. I can always look back at everything, and think....I did it . I made it through. And I am even MORE of a woman for that !

Thank you Sarah! You are an Angel!