Thursday, March 2, 2017

Trip of a lifetime....

To most people....the trip of a lifetime includes a long airplane ride to an exotic island  like Fiji or Bora Bora. But not for me .

My trip of a lifetime was from Cleveland, Ohio to Cleveland, Tennessee.

I am sure there will be people who read this and think huh? Tennessee? Yup, you heard it right.
Tennessee is so dear to my heart, because one of the most lovely women in the world lives there.

You see, almost 3 years ago when I was battling stage 3 cancer while pregnant I was so alone. Alone in the sense that I knew of no one going through the same exact thing. I couldn't call someone and hear them say, oh my gosh, I know exactly how you feel.

  I connected with Stormy on" Be Bold Be Bald" facebook page.We were both featured on the page, and I reached out to her to let her know she was not alone, and we clicked. We chatted online here and there . I just felt like somebody finally understood me. She was so sweet and kind. Her friendship has been such a beautiful thing to me. More than she knows ....

We cried together, laughed together, and lifted each other up.We had to endure multiple surgeries, chemo while pregnant, delivered our Newborn babies, radiation,lost our hair.....and all the while we felt so much better because we understood what the other was going through.We were deemed survivors. On our way to being cancer free.

In early 2016 Stormy received some heartbreaking news. Her cancer metastacized, and she now had cancer in her lungs, and liver.  My heart  broke when I found out.I cried so damn much. I sent cards and care packages to cheer her up. I didn't want her to feel alone. I wanted her to know we cared. Before Christmas , I got some people together via facebook and sent a Christmas package and Stormy's words made me cry tears of joy. To know that I made her and her children smile meant the world to me . So many people love and care for her . Just seeing her smile is heartwarming. I pray for her . numerous times every day.

 I had nominated Stormy to receive help from a foundation that helps families battling cancer. Unfortunately, it did not work out. I remember Stormy typed "I can't wait to meet you. " My heart dropped and I cried for an hour straight. I knew that financially it just would not be possible. My husband and I talked. My sweet and supportive husband told me it was okay, and I needed to go to her and see her. I had an emergency fund of $200. saved up in case our cars broke down, or an extra bill popped up.

This was my emergency.

Brian would stay home with the girls, and my amazing friend Heather was going to accompany me on this very special trip.

I had googled  local videographers , and contacted the first 2 to see if one would be willing to capture this amazing moment. One called back. His name was Greg at Chosen Productions. I knew right away that God had made sure that we crossed paths. Believe me when I say, It is not every day that you meet such a generous and caring soul. He even helped out by paying for my flight which relieved the burden of financial stress . He had spoken with his partners , and they agreed to document this amazing meeting for us!

So, I started planning. My daughters made pictures to cheer Stormy up. I bought small gestures of love to brighten the mood. I talked to her amazingly strong Mom Laura. I was so blessed to have this opportunity.

So February 3rd, I boarded a plane to Tennessee. I was a ball of nerves. Partly because I knew there would be a camera documenting this. Mostly it was just the anticipation and excitement to finally meet this beautiful friend. When we arrived we went down to luggage, and met Greg and his partner Will. They were both so kind and welcoming.

They wanted to film me getting our rental car, and it was the first time I was "mic'd up" They assured me the microphone would be ok and was hard to break (lol) I went to the rental counter and the clerk asked me what actress I was and where I was from....he asked what the show was about...and I nervously chuckled, and said "This is real life! I'm from Cleveland Ohio and battled cancer while pregnant and so did my Friend in Cleveland Tennessee, I am going to meet her for the first time.!"
He looked surprised.  Heather and I walked to the rental car as Will followed us closely with camera. I was going to start my interview, while driving in rush hour traffic . I was so nervous! So this is what the Kardashians do every day! Better them than me, I thought and chuckled. We picked up flowers and  8 minutes later pulled into the driveway. I saw Stormy on the porch, looking gorgeous as ever. We both embraced sobbing tears of joy, and relief, and I felt complete. She hugged me so tightly, and I thought Man, this girl is STRONG!!


As she told me to come in , A sweet little boy grabbed my hand and said come on! and yanked me through the doorway. I started tearing up because I knew it was her miracle baby Colt. I secretly felt sad that My Sophia couldn't be there to play with him....But it was such a touching moment. Her Mom's house was gorgeous. Truly, the second I entered , I felt at home and oh*so* welcomed. It was so nice to meet her kids, and Husband Travis. I met her Mama last and we both started crying tears of joy again. It was so amazing. I caught Heather tearing up too ! I was so fortunate to be surrounded by so much love. It was truly everything and more than I expected. Stormy's Mom surprised us with an amazing BBQ dinner. I even had my first real Sweet Tea. Yummazing! We sat and chatted with Stormy, her sister Asya, and Mama Laura. In between we played with the kids and gushed over sweet little Maverick. I gave stormy a very special present. I had custom friendship bracelets made . She had one, and I the other. It represented our beautiful long distance friendship From Cleveland Ohio , to Cleveland Tennessee. Friends Forever.




After a day full of travel and a HUGE first meeting, Heather and I drove to our Hotel : The Chattanoogan to check in. It was such a pretty Hotel. The manager was amazing and discounted our stay. We were greeted by a tray of Chocolate covered strawberries and a sweet card signed by the staff. We went downstairs and had a few cocktails at the bar, followed by an old school jam dance party in our hotel room!


My Bestie Heather and I at the bar


View from our hotel


Woke up early the next day. I had a big interview with Chosen Productions. I had the pleasure of meeting Greg's lovely wife. Everyone, Greg and his family and partners were so kind and generous.

They were interviewing me separately, then afterward Stormy and I had one together. It was so emotional. I cried for almost 2 hours straight. It was raw. emotional. real. I was re- living so much emotion. But It was very important to share our story . To let others know the power of faith , love, hope, and friendship.  I cannot wait to share this with the world. I hope it touches others as much as it has touched me. So stay tuned for the video portion ! Till then , here are a few pictures - thanks to Greg for taking them for me!





 Mama Laura and I

Stormy and her Mama



Dinner was in Downtown Chattanooga, at  a place called The Feed co. Table & Tavern.
It was Stormy, Her sister Asya, Mama Laura, Heather, and Me. I was not expecting it ...but Stormy and Laura came in with a bunch of gift bags for My children, Heather, and also for me. It was so sweet and I will cherish the lovely wall plaque, shadow box, cross, friendship mug and jewelry boxes for the kids <3

Stormy's super awesome sister Asya, had mentioned a place called Milk and Honey for dessert. She reminisced of college days and nights where she treated herself to this sweet place. I almost got the sense she secretly owned stock in this amazing place (hee hee, just teasin girl) . It was absolutely scrumptious.

It was bitter sweet, you see. I sat there smiling on the outside. My heart aching on the inside. I knew that once I left that gelato shop, I would be walking away from Stormy. Stormy and I sat there talking like long lost friends. She has these beautiful baby blue eyes that when you look into them they give you a sense of peace and comfort. I admire her so much for the grace and beauty that she has shown through all of her hardship. It was time to say goodbye. I didn't want to. I wished I could have hung out, just a few more days. I wanted to know her better. Go out and buy some knick knacks that her Mama told me she loves to buy. Go dance to some music that she likes. Take her kids to an amusement park. But we couldn't. As we said our "so - long" ( I refuse to say good bye, it's more like till next time) I hugged her sister, her mama, and last....but certainly not least My dear friend Stormy. My heart was feeling heavy.  We hugged  . I came there as a friend , and left as family.

Heather and I hopped into the car, and I sobbed. Hell, I am crying as I type this.

There Aren't too many people who leave an impression on your heart, honestly Stormy is one of them. Her family will forever be precious to me. So much so, that a part of me will always be in Tennessee.

579 Miles.

It seems so far away, for some amazing beautiful people so close to my heart.

 Thank you, for being my dear friend. For helping me through cancer - and for holding my hand...I can only hope sweet girl, that I too have done the same for you.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Spring is here!

Spring is in the air!

The past few months have been very busy.














We decided to get a membership to the Cleveland Botanical Garden. We Absolutely adore it there!

























Tuesday, March 22, 2016

A letter to my Daughters....

My Sweet, beautiful, little darlings ~

You are the light of my life. Your very presence gives me happiness - in a way most cannot understand. On MOST days, I am smiling. And I want you to know that life is happy.



This world that we live in is full of beauty, and I want you to see it.


I want you to see the Beauty in everything. Look around you. Beauty is not just someones appearance. It is everywhere. Those clouds in the sky....The way that the raindrops hit the trees and tumble down from leaf to leaf. How the Sunset paints the sky with oranges, pinks, and purples. The way that snow cradles each branch after a snowfall.





The world that we live in is meant to be heard :

Yes the sound of  birds in the morning on a chilly spring morning is delightful and brings such joy to a cup of coffee. But listen to everything, to the way others compliment each other. If you are anything like your mama you will fall in love with the sound of the Ocean. The way the waves caress the sand and bounce back and forth. Embrace music. I can honestly say it got me through some of my worst days, and complimented my best. To have listening ears, is one of the best qualities a girl can have. It will make you a great friend, partner, and person. Sometimes the only thing we need is to be heard. And I promise you my sweet girls - I will always listen. I may not agree but I will hear you, and help you.

This is where Mama and Daddy spent the day listening to the waves crash in St Maarten on our honeymoon!


The world that we live in is full of flavor :

Much like your Daddy taught me, just try it. Does Calamari sound gross? Yep, I mean squid ? really? But thankfully, I tried it and it is amazing! And do me a favor, eat that ice cream, or tiramisu. Indulge in cheesecake and pastries. Every once in a while, treat yourself. Life is far too short to be miserable. But I will say this, cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol can be your worst enemy. I have watched it take the lives of so many. It can destroy you from the inside out. a glass of wine or beer never hurt anyone, but excessive use  can turn you into someone bad. Do not rely on them to fix you, they will slowly tear you down.  





The world that we live in is full of culture :
Go out and travel, see the world. For your experiences in life, will be the best teacher of humanity that you will ever learn.  This world has so much to offer, please do travel. I have had some truly amazing experiences ...and even as babies - so did you!





The world that we live in is full of strength. 
Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. I know this all too well. If you see someone starving, give them food. If someone is sick or lonely - visit them. If someone is heartbroken, help them , talk to them. And do it for nothing more than the full feeling you walk away with in your heart. The most amazing feeling in the world is to help someone, to make a difference in their life. To dry their tears, and replace it with a smile or laughter. In a world full of selfishness, be humble. Be graceful and loving. Do not worry about what others think of you. The most attractive thing about a girl should be her heart, not her face.

Photo : Sarah at Posh Portraits



 The world that we live in is full of faith :
 I will say my faith in God helped me. Even when you are mad - Pray to him. Do not forget about God, Faith, and Jesus.....But please, use your brain. So many people say ...if it's Gods will, or Your destiny is already written - and just stop using common sense. Don't be that person. God gave you a brain, and common sense for a reason. Let your faith and your mind work together to guide you. Be a good person. Don't hurt others intentionally. Live like Christ, Believe in Christ, and Love Christ.


The world that we live in is full of feeling :
 Please, do not ever discredit somebody's feelings. Even if you feel you are right . ALWAYS THINK before OPENING YOUR MOUTH. Words alone can break a person. Try and relate to their pain, rather than your opinion. There are many people who think that they are always right, and just say hurtful things as if to prove a point. Nobody likes a harsh and cold person around. Speak to others with respect and dignity. Do not belittle others in a condescending manner. We are all humans. We all have fault, and nobody is perfect. Let God judge. Your job is to love others, and have compassion.

If you do not have anything nice to say, be silent. There are many alternatives to being an asshole.




The world that we live in is full of equality :

In life you will learn we all look different. Some people may have different hair eyes and skin. Some people will have disabilities, or illnesses. But always God made us ALL beautiful my little darlings. Know this. Do not be afraid to make friends with someone who is a different race or ethnicity. It is a beautiful thing. We all have hearts so full of love and potential. We all come from different walks of life, and surely can teach each other something new.




The world that we live in is full of hope :
No matter what may happen to you, always keep pushing forward. I thought I was going to die, but every day I saw your pretty little faces, heard your sweet little voices, felt your tiny kisses on my lips, and felt your baby arms hug me - I knew that I wasn't leaving yet. Your Daddy's love, and your love gave me strength from within to conquer my cancer. You are stronger than you will ever know.



 


 
All that I wanted was for you to be healthy. And my wish came true


I have never shared this photo until now. So Emotional. I was just thinking , I cannot leave this precious baby .
 The world that we live in is full of Love :


Photo:Veronica Wright



Photo: Maria Sharron




                                                       Love really does conquer all



Be the best damn lady you can be. That said, you can curse a little, just not at the ones you love. Life is short, PLEASE live life to the fullest, I learned that in my early thirties. Whatever it is you want to do , Do it. But listen to Mama and Daddy, because we love you so much ! We love you with every breath we take. Have manners. Be respectful - but please don not lose your sense of dignity. If people mistreat you over and over, move on. Do not let others bully you. I do not care who it is...I do not care if it is a boy with a million dollar smile - or the girl you have been friends with for 8 years. Be strong. Pray for those who hurt you. You can show forgiveness - and it doesn't mean you have to be friends with everyone. When you stand up for yourself against someone who did you wrong - you become a better person. You are WORTH it . If someone breaks your heart ( which I hope they never do) pick yourself up, wipe your tears, and look in the mirror at the beautiful person staring back in the reflection. Throw on some heels, lipstick, and a cute outfit and thank God for putting you on a different path. I would have never ended up with your Amazing daddy, My prince charming, if I didn't realize there were a few frogs along the way. You will meet your happily ever after, Please don't give your everything to someone who doesn't treat you how you want to be treated. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Trust your instincts.

Always know that you can come to Mama and Daddy . Always. We are here for you. Anytime at all. We wanted you both oh so much. you are our hearts, our life , our everything.

I pray one day you can experience the absolute joy and love of being a parent too.

Love,
Mama