Time flies

Time certainly has flown by.

I have been reflecting on a lot lately. I never really had the chance to heal after my diagnosis. And I am not just talking about my body... but my soul, and my heart.

Over the course of the past few years there are things that have weighed down my soul. I found myself questioning a lot.

 Why? Why did all of this happen???

How? How could people be the way that they were???

And then I thought. and thought. and thought...... I started to breathe. My anger subsided, and I had peace. My hurt, it will be there always. But forgiveness?  That is my responsibility. To let go.
We don't always have to understand things. But we must be accountable for how we react.

Most people go through this epiphany after cancer. The clouds part and the sun rays beam brightly. There are rainbows and unicorns ......I never had any of that crap. It took me a couple of years to see it. I did see life from a different perspective! I live life and try to embrace opportunities that I may have otherwise slip by.  I damn well cry at nearly every milestone with my children. Holidays , school stuff, hell some days I cry when the sun hits Olivia's face and her eyelashes flutter as she tells me how much she loves me....Or when I look at Sophia's deep blue eyes and hear her giggle uncontrollably. Or when I see Brian  holding hands or playing with our beautiful little ladies. Wow, how lucky am I ? How lucky are we?

And so I am Happy. Happy to be healthy. Happy to have good days.

I don't have to be friends with everyone. I don't have to bend over backward and force relationships. I just Give it to God, and he will decide for me .

I have such a long way to go - and I certainly cannot figure everything out. But I can say with certainty, that I have grown as a woman, wife, mother, friend, human.

And lastly- It has been a very long time since I have posted pictures, or anything really.
 I will try and post some catch up posts. But for now here are a few from the past few months ......