Rain & Rainbows......

Where do I begin? Life has been a roller coaster these past few weeks   -   filled with ups and downs.  I am preparing for losing my hair, which should start happening this weekend. My scalp is itchy and starting to hurt, and I am noticing a small amount of hair loss, luckily nothing shocking yet. Something about my hair that represents "me". I know it is going to be temporary ( a year - due to my split chemo sessions) , but it sucks when some people make comments like "Oh its only temporary" . Part of me wants to snap back with "Okay, then you do it too! You shave your head for the next 8 months and tell me how it feels" As a woman , hair can define you, it is part of feeling feminine. It is part of your identity.   I worry most about how my daughter will respond to it. I hope she is not afraid of me.I know some people may think, with all Colleen has going on, why is she worrying about her hair? My answer is simple - Because I have feelings ( a lot of them right now), and it hurts. I am allowed to hurt , and cry , and feel sad sometimes.  Some days, I feel great - and others I sob like the hormone filled, pregnant, cancer patient that I am .  I am getting through this, that is the beautiful thing. For each day plagued with fear, sorrow, and what if's - I have another day filled with happiness, giggles , and love from my Husband and Daughter. I get support and love from friends and family.

And So I titled this blog "Rain & Rainbows" . You need the Raindrops, to form the beautiful Rainbow.....

I started out on the sad side, and now I want to show you the happy, sunny side of my journey thus far :

Words Cannot Express how thankful we are for the love and support that we have received the past 2 weeks. Every time I get a card in the mail, it warms my heart. Thank you to each and every person who has sent cards, they are all so lovely.  My sister has come over to help watch Olivia or just hang out . Our parents have reached out and helped us. My Hair dresser Rachel has went above and beyond , what a great lady ! I have received a care package from a couple of ladies (Alice, Ginger, Angie)  from high school and it cheered me up so much!Our friends have set up a dinner delivery for Thursday nights to help and we appreciate it so much. One less night to worry about preparing dinner! And may I add, our dinners so far have been delicious! Amanda and Danny brought a cheesy broccoli - chicken casserole that was amazing, and Ice Cream too, and to top it off cute little Arlo came along  :) Our Second dinner, Joe Brought us a fabulous Lasagna, Asparagus, and Garlic Bread! Olivia chowed down on it and loved it as much as we did!!  There are a few people in particular that have been beyond generous.....I want to scream out from the rooftops how amazing they are! There are so many good deeds that have been done - and due to privacy reasons our most sincere "Thank You, you know who you are " is all that I can say on this blog. But in private I have reached out and spoken . I wish I could thank you all in some amazing way.....All that I have are words right now. But they are words from my heart. They are deep, they are sincere, and they are full of LOVE. I hope that one day I could bring joy and light to each and every one of you in the same way that you have touched our lives. I look forward to the day years from now , when I can turn to my daughters and show them how much love and compassion we had from our family and friends. It would be the highest blessing for them to experience even half of what we have encountered thus far!